Little j's Birth Story- Part 1- PPROM
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
-Savage Garden
Hello my darlings, today's post is very different from my usual ones. Since Mother's Day is coming up, I've decided to share about something very private to me- the birth story of Little j. If you've followed my journey you probably noticed that my baby was born prematurely. It was one of the hardest time in my life. I'm glad I'm a Christian and I have God to rely on and my lovely family and friends. But surprisingly, what got me partly through it all was reading other people's blogs on similar situations- especially Jenica's of A Slice of Style - our babies were pretty much born around the same time and she blogged about what she went through in real time. All my friends around me had a somewhat smooth pregnancy and deliveries. I felt utterly defeated having to deal with all this. I'm just grateful for the blogosphere community that made me feel less lonely in such difficult times. Warning, this is a long post. So here goes....
PPROM at 30 weeks
It felt like any other day, apart from the fact that this morning I had to rush to the bathroom and I still didn't make it- I leaked "pee". I didn't think much of it at that time though. I've had a somewhat tough pregnancy and I was being extra cautious since I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage earlier. (A story that I will share in another post) So I've resigned a few days before since I just couldn't put up with the 3 hours commute and the stressful job anymore.
I eat a healthy diet and I exercise regularly throughout my pregnancy except during my first trimester, since I felt too sick to do so. I'm pretty much a mermaid so like any other day I was getting ready to go for my usual swim. I noticed however I've been leaking "pee" here and there. I just thought it was "normal" and go about doing chores before I head for my swim. I did start texting my friends to chat and one of them told me to take it easy and just sit. In case something is wrong.
So I paused and just chilled on my sofa. I started Googling since I was feeling uneasy. I read about water breaking early, how to tell if your water broke things like that. But I also thought to myself it's WAY too early for me. I'm only 30 weeks! I had more leakage as the morning goes and at one point I've decided to just rest today and skip my swim- wisest decision ever.
I had my regular check up that day in the afternoon. Just before my appointment while I was standing in the kitchen. I felt a gush of water rushed through my pants uncontrollably. I looked down and I was standing in a puddle of water. My heart sank. I read that amniotic fluid is a clear liquid that will smell sweet. I wish it was urine but no, there was this distinct sweet smell... I managed to collect myself and also scooped up some of the fluid on the floor and took a sample for my gynecologist. I called my husband to come home and pick me up and take me to my appointment- good call indeed.
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My gynecologist came into the room looking worried. She told me that sample I gave her was indeed my amniotic fluid. So I have what doctors called Preterm premature rupture of membrans(PPROM). She checked to see if my cervix was closed and gave me a quick ultra sound. Luckily the baby already turned and was in the right position- head down. This minimize the chance of having a c-section. She transferred me to a hospital that we didn't select to give birth in, but it has a better facility to cater for high risk birth. I was told to go right away, to be hospitalized, until I deliver the baby. My heart sank again, but thanks to Google I already knew this was going to happen- gotta love modern technology and the internet.
There were a thousand thoughts rushing through my head with mixed emotions. Why is this happening to me?! I've been so careful. I exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet. I rested and didn't push my body. My due date is in September it's only June! Do I have to spend all summer in the hospital? We haven't even gone to the birthing classes... or tour the hospital...and we have scheduled our maternity pictures to be taking this coming Sunday! and I've obviously not packed my hospital bag etc etc. But what I worried the most was the safely of our unborn child. We went home, I took a quick shower since I knew I'll be hooked on IV once I got hospitalized. I scrambled to pack some clothes, did a quick prayer and head to the hospital in distress.
Bed bound
I've been pretty healthy my whole life, I've never been hospitalized. The only other time I went to the hospital was when I had my miscarriage. I've always had a fear of needles and I just dislike the hospital smell. I was bed bound with IV attached. The needle was huge and so painful. They switch it out every 2 days to a different hand/arm to avoid infections. They took my blood every morning to monitor me. Gave me those huge steroids injections on my butt. Gave me antibiotics and magnesium sulphate through IV to help keep the baby in longer, it helps his lung development and decrease chance of infection. Premature baby's lungs are not developed as full term babies, and that's the thing that will set them back the most. I was also hooked on those belts to monitor the baby's heart rate and any contractions for a few hours a day. It was pretty miserable. After the whole pregnancy/birthing process it's safe to say my phobia of needles are now nonexistence. Because after they jabbed you so many times in so many places your body just get numbed.
I was told the longer I can keep the baby in without infections the better. My goal was to stay till 34 week then give birth. At 30 weeks it's still very high risk, at 32 weeks it's considered not as high risk and by 34 weeks it is better for the baby to come out to avoid infections. Keeping the baby one more day in your belly = 1 week less in the NICU. The first 24 hours to 48 hours after your water broke they monitor you carefully. So I was place in the labour room, because technically I could go into labour any time. Thankfully I have no infections or signs of contractions. I passed the 4 days milestone, then the 1 week milestone. My doctors starts to relax a bit and told me I was doing well holding the baby in. They even told me my husband can push my on the wheelchair to the courtyard for some fresh air.
They gave me ultra sounds every few days to measure how much amniotic fluid there are left, and to check the position and heart rate of the baby. I still leak a bit of water every day (once it starts you can't stop it) but your body will keep making more. I just need to keep myself hydrated. Also check to see if there are any bloody discharges as signs of infection. I'm fortunate in the sense that I have no diet restrictions and I was allowed to have outside food. Luckily my appetite was still really good so I was off IV after a few days- but they still keep the needle in there in case I go into labour.
What I've learned so far
Don't blame yourself- It is NOT your fault that you have PPROM. Doctors usually can't explain why it happened to you. Don't let others discourage you when they ask you what you did to cause your water to break early. A lot of people don't think before they speak, they meant to comfort you but it just all sounded wrong when it comes out. Pregnant women are super emotional so don't dwell on other's words.
No what ifs- Don't think about what you should have done etc. You can't turn back time. Deal with it with a positive mind and push forward. Know that things happen for a reason, you just don't know it yet. Perhaps it is so that you can help those experiencing similar situations.
Be thankful- I'm thankful for my family and friend's support. I'm so glad I'm born in this time, and live in this country with high tech and medical knowledge. The baby and I wouldn't have survived if we lived in the past.
To be continued...
8 comments
That sounds like such a scary and exhausting time, so sorry you had to go through that! So glad you had great support and a hospital that was able to help keep both safe.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/
Thanks! I'm glad it's over and ever so grateful for the support and love that's been shown to us. xx
DeleteWhat a hugely emotional time! I am so pleased you had such a good team around you to help, and I totally agree that other people can be so thoughtless when they speak!
ReplyDeleteRosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
My Instagram | Instagram
Yes, I'm so thankful for the people that helped! x
DeleteThis was such a beautiful and emotional post. What you've learned so far is so beautiful and important. Being thankful is so pivotal.
ReplyDeletex,
Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel
Yup yup :) It's a tough lesson to learn but I'm glad the hardest part is over! x
DeleteI can't imagine what you've been going through and been through either. Thankfully you have a wonderful support system around you both. That would make the world of difference to such a scary moment in time
ReplyDeleteSxx
www.daringcoco.com
Yea, I can't believe I went through all that too, thinking back it still makes me cringe a little.
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